The Dose of Angry Birds

The Dose of Angry Birds - the СвиныСвиноСвин's story that was translated on English by owner.

Prologue
I guess a lot of people know about Angry Birds. Somebody played two days, somebody - two weeks, and some people are fans of this game. But who knows what lies behind this innocent game... Sometimes people don't sleep many night to beat any dumb level. But anything can happen. What if so good (or not) game can absorb power from people and turn them into money? Maybe so Rovio makes so dumb games like Angry Birds Blast? Maybe money absorb all creativity from Roviomans? Although what the difference, the world would still someday drown in a Large Ocean and the universe will shrink in a small point. Well, you will listen all in this story.

Part 1. The beginning of dependence
Once upon a bad time Red lived. He was furious rooster. Once he found Chuck, Bomb, then Hal, Matilda, Terence... And many others! Later eggs appeared and they mutated into pigoeggs. They destroyed birds, killed themselves and became the lunch of King pig... What? Is something wrong? Well: One day Bomb played in... Angry Birds? Is that really that their universe enslaved and Roviomans became birds? OK, Bomb beated first level, second, third... He beated about 100 levels and understood that he need to stop. But when he laid the phone to ground, his eyes hurt and his brain needed more Angry Birds. Bomb take the phone again and played until night. When lay to sleep, he played silently. But he fell asleep. His eyes were closed, but he played all night. In the morning, Bomb stood up and continued to play. His brain hurt and his stomach rumbled. Bomb exploded some times to wat to apple. The apple rolled and Bomb walked to it imultaneously playing the phone. He went to Pig city, but pigs-guards didn't pass him. So Bomb enabled the real 2D (what? usually 3D can be real, though this is 2D universe...) and shot with Red to pigs-guards. Bomb continued to go to apple. His brain hurt more and more. Bomb went along the lane, but he forgot to disable the real 2D. So he destroyed all pigs by Reds, Chucks, Bombs and Matildas. Bomb began to hallucinate. It seemed to him that there were nothing except his phone and the apple. He walked all streets and randomly went to King pig's castle, though apple rolled away in absolutely other side. King pig was frightened, then he was surprized and he laughed. He tried to move Bomb back. And one more time, then again one more time and several more times. On thirty-fourth time he looked that Bomb beat King pig in game. He was frightened a bit, then he found an old slingshot and shoy Bomb in mountains. He understood that there is no Wi-Fi. He began search of signal. He was looking for signal a lot of time. As many as ten minutes. Then he found a weak Wi-Fi signal. He went closer and signal became better, then he again went closer, and again, and again, and again... He entered the main source of Internet, where was a great signal. Bomb sat there. He was sitting a little. Just three weeks. Bomb understood that he needed to die two weeks ago because he didn't drink. But with magic he even didn't try to found it. The game totally changed all needs. But in cave of great signal were a strange noise. Bomb went closer. And he went on. About a million milliseconds ago Bomb found a treasure: laptop and iPad for games. Bomb was happy in his mind because his face can't move. He saved in Internet, threw his old buggy phone and took his "treasure". But new laptop absorb Bomb into himself. Now he's totally virtual...

Part 2. Pig-Birdy overdose
Bomb moved to alternative dimension and see unusual things. No tree, no woods, no Pig city, only flat ground and shots with slingshots. Bomb see free slingshot and tried to shoot himself, but something doesn't let him  and Black bird appeared (exactly black bird, not Bomb!). Bomb might to shoot this one, but he overshot. All his skill, all his spending of time for playing his favourite game in phone... All was... disappeared... in nowhere... Stop! Did I say "in phone"!? Exactly! Phone! Bomb took phone and might to shot black bird again and did it correctly. Meanwhile, there is a machine to make pig from bird and inversely in this unknown world. Bomb decided to try, but he was sucked in fast. Too fast. And he flew awat from machine too fast. He can't believe. He in his world! But around him are walking his old friends that accepted him as enemy. They began to beat him to small sausages. Fortunately, Bomb survived, but he understood after brawl that his didn't leave. He exploded and birds flew away in mountains. But his conscience didn't let to go away without eggs! He took an egg away while playing the phone along the lane. On the way he got a super secretly level which he needed to beat in one attempt. But he lose and exploded so strongly that Pig city and Cobalt Plateaus were destroyed forever. Only Bomb in Pig skin was survived. Well, he saved one egg. But suddenly around him appeared some pigs. They were prototypes of his friends! They are live! But they in skin of pigs. They understood that no sense to protect one egg. But they decided to stay the egg on ground, not eat it like King pig. They came to mountains and saw... All pigs! They were interesting what's the cave with great signal. They tried to play the laptop but they moved to pre-universe. Next to birds one bird appeared, then another one, and again, and again, and again... I guess this world never become normal. Birds became pigs and pigs - to birds. It's good that nothing happened in pre-universe... Yet... But suddenly mythic caller called to one bird:

- Hello, is it Striped dentist's clinic?

- No, you made a mistake in phone number, it's Piggy pig's pizzeria!

- It doesn't matter, have you got any problems?

- No, all is Ok, the sun is shining, birds protect eggs and pigs try to steal them. Bye! Peep..... I.... I said BYE!

And Bomb had a panic:

- Stop, don't hang up! It's a chance to recover all! Hello, is it Striped dentist's clinic?

- Nope, you made a mistake in phone number.

- I made a mistake not in phone number, in my answer: we have very big problem! Pigs mixed up with birds!

- I don't care about this. And anyway, I'm a dentist! I just can heal teeth to striped people!

- No, don't hang up! No! NOOOO!!!

But he hang up. Bomb was upset and gave the phone to owner.

Original is here

To be continued...